By Camille Brooks
What do you love about your spouse?
One beautiful day, I decided that I wanted to tell my husband what I loved about him. I began to write my husband love letters almost every day. I would tell him what I loved, appreciated, or admired about him. I am still at it and plan to keep going because the benefits make me so happy! It has brought significantly more peace and joy into our marriage.
The amazing thing is that not one of these emails is the same! At first I was sharing character traits and obvious things I loved, and then I started wondering what in the world I could say if I was going to keep doing this day after day. Then the thought came to pray and ask the Lord if He would help me see my husband as He did. See what He appreciates, admires and loves about my husband. Well, this prayer changed everything.
I would sit down at the computer after praying, not having a clue what I was going to write. I began each email with “What I love about you. I love . . .” Then my mind would be filled with something my husband had said or done the day before that I loved. I could always find something I was grateful for, something that I admired and loved about him. It was wonderful.
I’ve learned that when you look for the good you can always find it! Even on the days where we had a misunderstanding and the grumps had crept in, if I exercised my faith, the Lord would help me see something to appreciate, and by expressing it, it would soften both our hearts and the grumps would melt away and an increase of love would take its place.
I saw other blessings coming because of this goal to minister to my husband. My heart was changing. I thought I loved my husband dearly—that is why I wanted to tell him so in these emails. Even so, I found with each email, my love, gratitude and admiration were deepening profoundly. I was surprised how this simple act of regular service for my spouse was changing me!
I then noticed my husband changing. He seemed as though he was living up to whatever it was I had admired or said that I loved about him. It seemed to have a pygmalion effect—It filled him with a desire to be better and live up to the kind things I had expressed love for. At first I thought I was just imagining it, but then, no—I could see for sure that whatever I had conveyed gratitude for was indeed increasing. I have always believed that whatever you pay attention to increases, and I was seeing this to be true.
One of my favorite scriptures is “…by small and simple things are great things brought to pass.” Alma 37:6
Over time, I could see expressing love, appreciation and admiration was like planting small seeds in the garden of our marriage. It was such a simple and small thing and only took minutes each day; nevertheless, these small seeds were taking root and beginning to grow, and then flourishing into great things.
With the passage of time our love became a bit of heaven on earth. There were no more misunderstandings, or grumps to deal with. By seeing my husband as God sees him, and then expressing it, I came to really know my husband’s heart. Through my expressions of love, He also came to know my heart— We came to know each other’s hearts and how to read them.
Love is a verb. It requires action. Like a flower if we water our marriages with expressions of love they will blossom. We will come a way thinking— really, that is all I had to do, exercise faith and shower the people I love with love?
Yes! This is usually the case. In some rare cases, a loved one cannot feel our love, they have become past feeling through sin, addictions or such. But even in such extreme cases, faith in the Lord Jesus Christ can break down even the hardest heart— if it is God’s will and timing.
I invite you to begin a journey of love this Valentine’s Day. Tell your spouse what you love about them for a whole year and just see what happens, to you, to them, to your marriage and family.
Great things really do come to pass by small and simple things.
